WWRDN? (What Will Riis Do Now?)

Fotoreporter Sirotti

Bjarne Riis just can’t catch a break. First he loses a massive chunk of his team and support staff to LEOPARD TREK, and now he’s poised to lose Alberto Contador for a year due to his positive test for Clenbuterol. What’s a Riis to do?

We here at Pavé have a few suggestions:

1. Secretly campaign to uphold the radio ban. When he fails to show any results this year, claim it wasn’t his fault, but the result of no race radios
2. Buy Telenet-Fidea and, just to hedge his bets, Landbouwkrediet and BKCP, so he can say Saxo won CX worlds in 2011
3. Convince Zomegnan to not invite Geox-TMC to the Giro. Get Menchov to activate his contract’s “no Grand Tour, no Denis” doomsday clause. Help him achieve a podium position no one remembers in the Tour de France.
4. Convince Jan Ullrich to put down the Nutella, and pick up a bike
5. Come out of retirement, sign a deal with Gerber Assist, win all three GT’s and maybe a classic or two.
6. Go shopping in the Pegasus buy one get one free aisle. (We hear Trent Lowe is looking…)
7. Build his team for all of the one-week Tours everyone uses for training. Dominate.

Bjarne needs all the help he can get! Give your suggestions below!